


What To Do When Lost

by softball45



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Post Episode: s02e23 Unthinkable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-01-26 23:12:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1706006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softball45/pseuds/softball45
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver loses someone he loves and can't deal with the grief it causes.  He needs help from everyone around him to truly be able to deal with the situation.  Through this he might find someone he never noticed before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First fan fiction. Please let me know what you think. I can't wait to hear what you all have to say good and bad. Don't read unless you've seen the season finale Unthinkable. Enjoy!

He would never forget the day the police came knocking on the door tearing his life apart.

It was a mugging gone wrong. That's it just a simple mugging. Nothing to do with who he was or what he did. He didn't have any control over the fate that she had suffered. She died in the street not knowing what he could've done to save her.

If only he hadn't been so busy worrying about what Slade had done to the city he would've realized where she was and what time it was. Slade had taken away the woman he loved. But it wasn't Laurel or even Felicity, the woman who knew him best. It was Thea.  


"Oliver are you alright?" He jumped, he thought he was the only one in the foundry in the middle of the night. "It's time we head home don't you think? She wouldn't want you mourning her like this. She would want her attacker to be brought to justice. Not have you sit around thinking of the things you could've done." Her voice was soft and comforting yet it was the push he needed to find this guy.

"You're right Felicity. I need to find him and I need to put an arrow straight through his heart for what he did," hIs voice wasn't as sturdy as he wanted it to be. He still couldn't believe he wouldn't see his baby sister ever again. "I need to show that bastard what he has done and make him pay for it," now voice steadier and more determined.

"He will pay for what he has done. But it won't be like that. It will be through our justice system. He will be locked up for the rest of his life." His heart rate was starting to slow down for the first time in the past few hours. 

"Feli-"

"No Oliver, you are NOT a killer! I will not let you go out there and be the vigilante again. You have changed. You are a different person. You have made this city safer." He didn't want to believe her. He wanted to blame himself so he could fix what happened to Thea.

But anger had filled his system and he needed Felicity to see that he had to get Thea's killer. "I didn't save this city. I didn't," now he was shaking. Every single inch of his body was having a nervous breakdown but that only made him angrier. "I failed this city and I failed her! If this city was actually safe Thea would be upstairs running the club having the best times of her life. That kind of scum should not be on the streets. The Arrow should have cleaned him off of the streets. But I was too busy worrying about my own problems with Slade to take care of my own family!"

"Damnit Oliver! Everything in this city is not your fault! You had to stop Slade from destroying the city. It was your only choice. If you didn't stop him no one would've. You are only human Oliver. You couldn't have stopped her from dying even if you had known about it." He knew she was right every inch of his body knew it and that sent him over the edge.

"But I'm her big brother. I'm the one who had to protect her. She was my responsibility. Because I didn't watch over her she's dead." Tears began to fill his eyes and he just let them fall. He barely could breath. His heart was pounding but he felt like he was barely holding on to his life.

Felicity was now sitting right next to him her hand wiping away the tears that were shed. "You are not going through this alone Oliver. We are here for you. Now lets go back home and try to remember the good times you shared with her. Roy hasn't left Thea's room ever since he got the news and I think he needs someone who understands him. Diggle is waiting upstairs. To take you home."

"But I don't know how to go on without her around. Not after losing my mother not less than a month ago." 

Felicity now had her arm wrapped around Oliver's back he knew without her supports he would probably have fallen on the couch and never would have gotten up. "We are here for you and we will never leave your side. You do not have to suffer this loss without help. She loved you and right now she is looking down on you hoping you can get along without her. But she is always right here." She put her whole hand on his chest over his heart. The warmth from her hand radiated throughout his body and that seemed to sooth him. Her hand rested there for another few moments. He didn't want her to ever let go. 

They both left the foundry and met Diggle at the car. Digg just nodded at both of them and not a word was said the rest of the ride back to the Queen's mansion.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the awesome reviews guys! Hope you enjoy this one as well.

Oliver woke with a start to see Felicity shaking his shoulder. "Whe- where am I?"

"You fell asleep in the car, Oliver; we're at your house now." Suddenly, everything came back to him.

"Thea...I should've saved her; she was my responsibility. It- it's my fault." His voice was faltering again and a lump was now forming in his throat.

Felicity gave him a warm heartening smile that suddenly made him feel just a little better. "We are not doing this now, Oliver. Let's get you upstairs. You need to get shut eye for a few hours."

He gingerly got out of the car, not knowing if his legs would be able to carry him all the way to his bed. He was glad to see that Felicity was right beside him, guiding him all the way to his room to make sure he actually got to bed.

"Digg and I will be back in the morning to check on you. Please, Oliver, try...try to rest, you need it."

"Felicity, please," his voice a rough, hoarse whisper. Felicity turned and smiled at him, waiting for him to finish."Can you stay? I don't want someone else I care about to leave right now."

Her expression suddenly shifted. No longer giving him a kind smile, her eyebrows were raised and her eyes widened.

"Oliver...are you sure you want me to? You're under a lot of stress right now, and are really tired. And with everything you've been through the past day. I mean, it's not really a good idea is it? Of course it's not you're in shock, so no you're not thinking straight. If I was in your position, I would have a mental breakdown and babble but that's what I'm doing right now which will end in 3...2...1..."

A smile had crept over him. It seemed like a lifetime ago was the last time he had smiled. But she was able to allow him to forget about the hell he was suffering, and that's why he wanted Felicity to stay.

"Yes, Felicity. I want you to stay; I don't want to be alone here tonight. I can't be alone tonight." His smile had faded and was replaced by kind, sensitive eyes almost begging her to stay.

"Okay, if that's what you need." And for once, Felicity was laconic and didn't have anything to say.

Felicity told Diggle that she was going to stay and take care of Oliver, and that he should go home.

Once she returned, she laid down on the couch. When Oliver saw this, he knew he would be able to get a little sleep knowing she would be safe.

Oliver was back at the mansion. He immediately ran to Thea's room to make sure nothing had happened to her. When he got there, much to his delight, she was laying on her bed reading a magazine.

"Hey Ollie. You alright?" He hoped that maybe everything was a dream and that this was reality. "Ollie... Are you okay? You look like you just returned from the dead...again."

"Speedy, I had the worst nightmare. You-you were dead and I couldn't live without you."

"I'm right here. I will always be right here." Something still seemed off, though. Thea wasn't acting like normal- she looked a little different. Then it hit him.

"Speedy, you're bleeding. Your abdomen! We need to stop it!" Oliver rushed to put pressure on her wound. But no matter how much pressure he put on the wound, the bleeding wouldn't stop.

"Help me! Ollie! Don't let me die here!" She died there in his arms.

Suddenly, his eyes opened and someone was on top of him. He was being attacked. Every muscle in his body clenched and he flipped the intruder over and began to strangle them.

That's when a familiar voice hit him; "Oliver, it's me. It's me, Felicity...you were dreaming. It was just a dream, it's over now, you are alright." He could hear her gasping for breath.

No matter how hard he tried and wanted to believe everything was fine, he couldn't shake the image of his sister bleeding out in his hands. "It's not alright. I couldn't save her...I couldn't." With that he relinquished his grip on Felicity. His heart was pounding and he collapsed on the bed.

"Oliver wake up. Oliver. Wake up." His vision was blurred, but Oliver was able to make out a dim light coming through the windows, meaning it was now morning. "Good, Oliver. Look at me. Do you remember what happened last night?" It was Felicity speaking to him.

All he knew is that his arm was extremely sore and he had the worst headache. "No...what happened?"

It was now Digg talking, "You woke up last night from a nightmare." Digg then pointed to Felicity, "She heard you screaming and called me. When she tried to wake you up you flipped her over and you were strangling her." Oliver looked at Felicity's eyes. He expected her to look angry or confused but her eyes were a soft kind blue. He wanted to apologize, but Digg continued talking. "I came up and you still had Felicity in your grasp and I sedated you."

Both of them stared at him like they were waiting for him to react. But he wasn't surprised to know that he had done it. He hated himself for it. "I wanted you to stay so you wouldn't get hurt." He motioned towards Felicity. "But I hurt you instead. I can't imagine what you think."

"Oliver," her voice was soft and endearing, "none if this is your fault. You can't control the dreams you have and the reactions they cause. The past 24 hours have been a living hell for you, I understand. And after being on the island for 5 years and now this..." Her voice trailed off, but he understood what she was saying. "You didn't hurt me, Oliver, and you never will hurt me." Her hand was now stroking his cheek and wherever her hand touched warmth seemed to seep into his body. A warmth he had never felt before.


	3. Chapter 3

Through the rest of the morning Oliver just went through the motions. He mechanically got showered, got dressed and brushed his teeth. Not giving much thought about anything. He got dressed as Oliver Queen, CEO of Queen Consolidated. It was a tough fight but he was able to get his family's company back after Isabel Rochev took it away. And he now had to talk to investors to calm them down about what happened to Thea.

A few minutes later there was a soft knock at his door, "It's open Digg." But it wasn't Digg who walked in, "Felicity," Digg must have taken her home at some point because she was wearing different clothes. She was wearing a fuschia skirt with a flower painted blouse. Along with that she was wearing her brightly painted lips that always matched what she was wearing that day. Her hair was also down instead of its normal sleek ponytail.

"Oliver, what are you wearing?" He didn't understand the question. He was just wearing a normal suit, one that he had probably worn thousands of times. "You shouldn't go to work today, let me take care of that for you." She, again, was right. He didn't know why he even attempted to try to get past her and go to work. But he wasn't going to concede that easily.

"Felicity I am a grown man and I think I am able to go to work of a company where I am the CEO." The last part came out harsher than he expected. "Do you know how hard it is when people just constantly treat you like you are extremely fragile and if you are exposed to anything that is just a little bit 'too much' for you too handle you might just drop right there and fall apart?"

He had positioned his body where it made him look menacing compared to her small frame, "Actually I do." He wasn't expecting that strong of a response. "Do you know the reason I moved 3000 miles away to Starling City and decided to work for Queen Consolidated?" All he could do was shake his head, she was now the menacing figure in the room. "I left my family because I didn't have anyone any more. My father was a horrible drunk. It was the beginning of senior year in high school so I was up late studying for some test I had. He came home one night drunk senseless. My mother hadn't even said hello when he held a gun up to her. He was in mass hysteria; he was babbling about how he needed to be free from the hell that she was holding him into. He said that if one of us moved she would be shot. He went on a 15 minute spiel about how horrible we were and how he needed to leave. My mother tried to talk him down saying that we loved him and that everything was going to be alright. But in the end it wasn't alright. She sat up to comfort him and give him a hug when he shot her. The bullet went straight through her chest and she instantly died. My father then went through a mentle breakdown trying to figure out what he had just done. I sprinted for the phone and called the police. When I was recounting what had just happened I heard a gun shot. I thought he had found me and shot me. There was a moment when I thought I was dead, and truthfully I was almost relieved. I didn't know how I was going to continue my life without my mother but I didn't have to if he killed me. But it was him. I walked in the living room to see him dead on the ground and blood surrounded his head. I went to live with a friend after that. I could never go back to the place where my mother was murdered and father committed suicide. Then is when I decided I needed to get away from the hell I was trapped in." Her eyes were filled with tears and her face expressed that she was doing everything in her power to not let a single one fall. He felt responsible for that. Even though this story had nothing to do with him, he made her retell it and he shouldn't have done that. "So don't you dare say Oliver Queen that I don't know what you are feeling. I was barely able to get through school and I was barely holding on to my sanity. No one in my town would ever look me in the eyes again. No one asked if I was alright and actually cared. But you Oliver, you have people who actually give a shit about you and how you are holding up! Don't push yourself over the edge even though you may be some bad-ass crime fighter you are human and even you have your limits." And at that her hard exterior broke and tears flowed from her eyes and down her cheeks.

"I-I'm sorry Felicity. I didn't know about your past." Somehow he was now consoling her. But he didn't mind, it felt right to him.

"Of course you didn't know Oliver. I have never told that story in my whole goddamn life. But you had to go and be an idiot." Her voice was now lightening. He moved over to her and wrapped is arm over her lower back and around her neck and pulled her close. He was now sure that he needed this hug more than she did right then.

"So lets get you undressed-" He didn't know what he looked like but he must've had the goofiest smile on his face. He missed her blurting out whatever without thinking about it. "And just like that I'm back to being Felicity Smoak, the girl who blurts out very sexual things to her very attractive boss." He didn't notice that she had called him attractive. He wasn't even paying attention to her words anymore. All he could think about was how she just opened up to him when he was shutting almost everyone out.

"But Felicity I still need to talk to the investors and tell them that I have everything under control. If I don't who will?"

"I will. I am your Executive Assistant aren't I? That's what I do. I do what needs to be done when you can't. You worry about yourself." And with that she started to head out of the room. At the last second she turned around to look at him she gave him a confident look letting him know she would take care of everything. And with that she was gone. Oliver was left in his room trying to figure out what happened. He knew his brain couldn't process that so he just fell back asleep and for once he had a little sleep without being woken by a nightmare.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is one of my personal favorites. Enjoy let me know what you think.

When Oliver woke it was still light outside. He went downstairs and found Digg waiting for him at the door. "Have a nice sleep Sleeping Beauty?" He could tell that Digg was trying to cheer him up and make him feel like a normal person. But right now he didn't feel anything. All he knew was that he wanted to get to the foundry and do his job, his night time job.

"Shut up Digg. Let's go to the club we have work to do." Oliver went straight out the door and much to his suprise Digg followed not saying a word.

Once in the car they talked, "You know Felicity's not going to let you be the Arrow tonight. She's just going to send your sorry ass back home." Digg now was making him feel better. Felicity was right about what she said that morning. He does have people who actually give a shit about him.

"She kept me home from my actual job today but she won't be able to get me to leave this job." Oliver and Digg got out of the car and headed down to the foundry.

When they got down there Felicity was sitting in her chair doing some sort of research on the computer and he assumed the banging in the back was coming from Roy trying to relieve some stress that he had built up.

"Oliver, what are you doing here I thought I told you to stay home today?" He gave her a look that told her there was a reason other than being the Arrow that he was here for.

"We need to catch the son-of-a-bitch that killed Thea." He said it loud enough so Roy could hear.

As soon as the words left his mouth the banging stopped and Roy was standing right in front of him. "Oliver, don't take out your frustration on this guy. That goes for you too Roy."

"Don't worry that's what I've been doing for the past 12 hours." Roy was almost foaming at the mouth at the thought of taking down Thea's killer.

"Do you have anything on him Felicity?"

"Actually I do. His name is Jeffery Right. He was born in Central City in 1984. Dropped out of high school in 10th grade, and your not going to like this but he was apart of Slade's army." She continued typing things in trying to find out more.

"Do you have an address for us Felicity?" Digg gave him a sideways look. Oliver could tell that he was questioning if they should bring Roy but he knew that if he were in Roy's position he would need to be brought along.

"I do." She stood up and slowly walked over to him and rested her hand on his jaw. "But don't do something you will later regret. Think about Thea and Tommy and what they would think.". Her hand moved down to his bicep. He got goosebumps all over his body. Oliver Queen, billionaire and CEO of Queen Consolidated, got goosebumps when a pretty girl touched him, how petty. "Just please be careful. Both of you." She glared at both Oliver and Roy, "He already took someone we care about, don't let him take another." She made both boys put comms in their ears so Digg and her could keep track of them and provide back-up if anything were to happen to them.

Oliver groaned at all of her protective measures, "Felicity, this is going to be easy. He's just some punk, we'll be able to take him to Lance easily." Roy and Digg gave him an awkward glance that showed there confusion.

Roy and him then got dressed and headed out. As soon as they got to the part of the building that actually housed the club Roy turned off his comm and Oliver did the same thinking they were going to talk about Thea, "Dude are you kidding me?" Roy was almost laughing at something Oliver did.

"What are you talking about Roy?" His muscles were tense because he just wanted this whole situation to be over with.

"You seriously don't know?" Roy now was shaking his head with a small smirk wiped across his face. "You and her. You are going to tell me that both of you don't know? The only reason that she's making us wear all of this protective crap is because you are going out there into trouble. Trust me dude, act on your feelings before you lose her. Even though Thea's gone now I'm glad that I got to spend those two years with her. Do it before you have a chance to regret it."

Oliver's brow was now furrowed in confusion and anger, "We need to catch this guy now. We are not discussing this right here."

"Okay, just thought you should know before you do something reckless because Felicity cares about you, a lot." Roy then headed out the door leaving Oliver to process what had just happened.

His head began to hurt .5 seconds into thinking about it so he just pushed the thought into the back of his brain. Right now he needed to focus on catching his sister's killer. He had to focus on the task at hand because if he didn't he was probably going to fall apart.

They both rode to the address that Felicity gave them on their own motorcycle just in case the guy ran and they needed to split up. Oliver thought to himself of what Jeffery Right did to him and how he needed to get justice. They pulled up to the house. The plan was already established Roy would enter from downstairs and Oliver would enter from the upstairs.

When Oliver entered he didn't see anything. He drew his bow because now he had a tight feeling in his gut telling him that something was going to happen right then. Before he could finish the thought a felt a slight pain in his lower abdomen.

A piercing noise filled his ear. "Oliver! Oliver are you alright? Respond Oliver dammit!" He couldn't feel anything anymore.

The last thing he heard before he blacked out was Roy. "He's been shot in the lower stomach. There's blood everywhere. I've got him and am taking him back to you guys. Hold on Oliver, we are not going to lose you!"

Then everything went black.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thanks for the great reviews so far. Not much left to go. Thanks for sticking with me. This one is in Felicity's point of view. Enjoy!

Felicity didn't know what was going on. All she knew was that she heard a gunshot and somehow sensed her world was about to come crashing down all over her.

Roy was on his way back with Oliver. Digg and her were setting everything up to try and save Oliver. She was having déjà vu back to the first time she was down here and had to save Oliver.

In a few minutes they had everything ready but were just waiting for the patient so they could get to work. Felicity couldn't stop pacing back and forth. Digg must have noticed because soon he spoke and finally broke the silence.

"He's going to be alright Felicity. We are going to save his ass again. Don't worry." That's all she could do though. Over the past few days she had felt closer to him than she had been with anybody her entire life.

"I know that. I know that Roy will bring him here and we will do what we always do and save him, but dammit it's getting old! Why can't he see that I-we care about him." She couldn't believe that she almost admitted her feelings to Digg. She didn't even know she felt that way about him.

"I know that you are freaking out right now Felicity, but he needs you to stay calm right now and figure this out." Digg had always been able to keep her calm and she did need to do that right now for Oliver's sake.

Suddenly the door flung open, she rose to her feet and jumped into action to help Digg.

"Roy! Bring him here. Felicity grab the gauze and put as much pressure as possible on the wound. Roy grab the alcohol and pour it all over the wound." Meanwhile Digg was getting Oliver connected to the monitor to keep track of his vitals. Once he was hooked up Felicity could tell that his heart rate was elevated, which at that moment was an excellent thing, later probably not so much.

Digg and Roy were able to keep their heads on which allowed her to concentrate on her breathing.

"Shit." That one word tore her from her calm exterior and sent her into a mini panic attack. "Felicity we need you." She rushed over to where Digg was waiting for him to give her orders. "The bullet, it's lodged in there right by his appendix. We can't remove it." Digg motioned between himself and Roy. Suddenly she froze she knew what that meant. "We need someone with gently delicate hands to pull it out. Felicity you are constantly using your hands. You can do this."

That's when she lost it, "No! No, no, no no. I-I can't do this. I'm just supposed to track people down not dig a bullet out of my half naked boss. No shit, shit, shit. I can't do it I'm just going to make it worse."

"Felicity, he needs you now more than ever. He has saved our lives multiple times now is your time to pay him back." Felicity didn't say anything, she just stepped forward and took the supplies from Digg, "The bullet is about an inch down. All we need you to do is grasp it and pull it straight out. Just like operation."

She took a deep breath and went in. When she first went in blood squirted up and covered her hands. But somehow she continued and went deeper. It seemed like it was hours before she finally reached the bullet.

"What now Digg?" Her voice was calmer than she expected. Oddly enough she thought of Oliver like a computer. There was a virus encoded in him and she needed to get it out.

"Slowly grasp the bullet. Once you have ahold of it pull it up slowly." She did exactly as he said. Everything went smoothly. Once she got the bullet out Digg rushed over to stitch Oliver up.

It took 6 hours before Oliver was fully stable and cleaned up. It was the most exhausting 6 hours of her life. But in those few hours she realized she would do anything to keep Oliver alive.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy it!

His vision was coming back to him. He tried to sit up but a hand was pushing him back down. The hand was soft and warm, Felicity. "You need to lie down and rest."

Oliver had a horrible headache and his memory was slowly coming back to him. "Did we get him?" The last thing he remembered was leaving and the foundry and having his personal discussion with Roy.

"No and yes," Digg was now talking. "Right shot you as soon as you entered. Roy brought you back here and Feli-" Digg's words suddenly halted, he didn't know why but only assumed it was Felicity. "Finally we were able to get the bullet out of you and stitch you up."

"Shit," Suddenly it all came back to him. He put himself at an unessecary risk and didn't even get the bastard. "So how did we get him."

"I did." Her quiet voice broke all of the tension he was feeling. "When we got the bullet out of you I was able to track him down, and a few hours later Roy picked him up and turned him in." Finally he could try and put all of this behind him. "The police have already called us to let you know. It's all over. Right now you need to focus on yourself." The only thing he could focus on was her eyes. They weren't her normal soft blue, they were a dark stormy blue. He knew that look, that look held pain and he had had plenty of that.

Digg and Roy were in the back working out, "Felicity, what happened to you after I was shot?" Again her expression changed it was the same look he had when he found out Thea was killed. "I'm sorry I put you through that. I realize it was completely stupid of me to go after him. We should have just tipped of the police and let them handle that."

A smirked had flashed across her face, "Oliver Queen finally admitting he was an idiot and should not have taken that into his own hands." Her hair was strewn everywhere strands out of place, not to mention the blood that covered her lower body and hands.

"Please tell me that's not your blood."

"No, it's yours." He was relieved but his heart dropped. She let her guard down and he saw all the pain she experienced in the past few hours.

"Felicity? What happened to me? More importantly what happened to you?" It took all the strength he had but he stood up. He could feel the pain radiate from his side. "Talk to me Felicity let me in. There are things about the island that I haven't told anyone an they haunt me every time I close my eyes please Felicity." He was practically begging he needed to understand what had happened.

"There were moments where I thought I had lost you. I thought we were done. Not we as us but we as in Arrow. And I couldn't imagine my life without you in it." In a quick smooth motion her grabbed Felicity and pulled her in him. The feeling of having her pressed against him made him feel so much better. It made him feel like he never was on the island and that everything in his life was perfect, but it wasn't.

"Felicity, I am so sorry for what I put you through these past few hours I truly am. But I can't live without you and to do that we need to clean the scum off of the streets, the scum that killed Thea." He didn't know how long they stood there in each other's   
embrace but it was what they both needed. He pulled her head up and kissed her forehead.

"I don't want lose another person I love." He didn't know if she realized what she just said because she didn't show it.

"You will never lose me. I will always be right by your side." A warm feeling came over him. He never wanted to leave her side.

Digg came in a little while later and gave Oliver a look that expressed I will kill you if you hurt her. Oliver nodded in response.

"So what do we do now?" Roy had entered the room.

"We move on with our lives." Those words calmed him down more than anything had in the past day. He knew that's what Thea would have wanted. He knew that she would never leave his side, and he could never forget the way she talked or the way she smiled. He loved her and that's all that mattered. It was like a weight was lifted off of his chest when he finally admitted that. He loved Felicity Smoak and now he had her forever.

He walked over to her, grabbed her and pulled his lips down to hers. At first he didn't get a reaction, but quickly she recovered and was kissing him right back. Somehow he had found his light even in one of his most darkest times.


End file.
